and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
