the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
