i already hear my dad disowning me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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