I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
