Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
