the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
