I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
