Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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