I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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