Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize