Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(989): View more from Michigan

return my video game

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(310): View more from California

I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.

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(914): View more from New York

this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.

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(801): View more from Utah

all he gave me for my birthday was sperm

(254): View more from Texas

at least its a homemade gift

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here

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(248): View more from Michigan

my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'

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(480): View more from Arizona

you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny

(480): View more from Arizona

speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about

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(817): View more from Texas

You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point

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