I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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