She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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