can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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