wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
