you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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