u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize