wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
