I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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