I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
