i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
