well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
