well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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