His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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