Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
