There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Acid is not a monday night drug
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
