Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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