i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize