Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
we're so committed to being not committed
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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