Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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