im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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