so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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