Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
