We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
