YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
