Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
