they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
