I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
