Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
