please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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