did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
