I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
