There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
