This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
