I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
