Me too!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
