we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
