it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
God, I missed his penis.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize