I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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