This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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