So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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