I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
