There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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