did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
