Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
