It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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