so that wasnt chicken after all
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
