So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
