After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
