We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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