Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize